Hare Krsna,
The conversation between Svayambhuva Manu and Kardama Muni is deep, profound, and full of instructive lessons for us. There are quite a few things that stood out for me.
“”My daughter is the sister of Priyavrata and Uttānapāda. She is seeking a suitable husband in terms of age, character, and good qualities.” (SB 3.22.9)
This is a very important guiding principle for anyone trying to find a suitable life partner. One should look at the age, character, and good qualities of one’s prospective partner. Unfortunately, in today’s misguided age, people only look at good looks and good bank balance. Their choice of partner is at a superficial level. The result is that marriages do not last very long nowadays. Unfortunately, even devotees do not always follow the above principle in choosing their partners. My spiritual master once narrated to me about his conversation with another big, famous, and respected sannyasi in ISKCON. I will not disclose his name because I do not have his permission. He told my spiritual master that many devotees do not strictly follow the four regulative principles. They follow three and a half regulative principles. I was curious which regulative principle is violated the most. The sannyasi said that the regulative principle is ‘no illicit sex’. I was left speechless after hearing this.
Traditionally in India, arranged marriages followed this principle of considering someone for marriage by age, character and good qualities. During my younger days whenever I heard of any marriage discussions in the family, the usual questions asked about the groom and bride used to be always, “Is the boy of good character? Does he have any bad habits or bad association? Does he respect his parents and elders? How is his relationship with everyone in the family? Is the girl shy, well-mannered and respectful to everyone? Is she religious and spiritual? Is she Goddess Lakshmi (means does she represent the good qualities of the Goddess)? Who are the parents of the boy (or girl)? Are they from respectable family?” As you can see, the whole line of inquiry is about character, family background, good qualities, culture, etc.
Unfortunately, nowadays the line of assessing a bride or groom goes like this: “How educated is the boy/girl? Where does he/she work? What is his/her monthly income? Where does the boy live and work? (Men who work abroad are rated highly) Does the boy have his own house, car, and maidservants? How many houses does he have? Has he paid off all the mortgages? Is he debt-free? Does he live with his parents or independently? (Men who live independently away from joint family system are preferred). Is the girl beautiful? Is she modern in her outlook and behavior? Is she ok to settle abroad with our boy?”
As you can see, how far our society has fallen down from the ideal principles set by Svayambhuva Manu and Kardama Muni!!
Another point that stood out for me from this conversation between Svayambhuva Manu and Kardama Muni is this:
“The moment she heard from the sage Nārada of your noble character, learning, beautiful appearance, youth and other virtues, she fixed her mind upon you.” (SB 3.22.10)
Aren’t we all trying to apply this principle in our journey in Krsna bhakti? Don’t we all want to fall in love with Krsna and desire him intensely by hearing about His qualities, form, pastimes, etc.? Queen Rukmini fell in love with Krsna just by hearing about His glories. She did not even see Him once. But she decided to marry none other than Krsna. This shows how important is hearing from bonafide sources. Devahuti heard about Karadama Muni from Narada Muni.
“O my Lord, Your devotees can see You through the ears by the process of bona fide hearing, and thus their hearts become cleansed, and You take Your seat there. You are so merciful to Your devotees that You manifest Yourself in the particular eternal form of transcendence in which they always think of You.” (SB 3.9.11)
The last point that stood out for me is: “The highest authority for me is the unlimited Supreme Personality of Godhead, from whom this wonderful creation emanates and in whom its sustenance and dissolution rest. He is the origin of all Prajāpatis, the personalities meant to produce living entities in this world.” (SB 3.22.20)
This means that while I am busy engaged in fulfilling my family, societal, professional, and other responsibilities, I must remember that my ultimate goal is Krsna. He is my highest authority. Somehow or other I must always remember Him through the process of hearing and chanting His Holy Name. I must remind myself that Krsna is my life and soul. I belong to no one other than Him. This material world is not my real home. My real home is where Krsna lives eternally with His friends, family and associates. As we will see in later chapters, Kardama Muni, after fulfilling his family responsibilities, leaves home to attain self-realization in Krsna consciousness. As Srila Prabhupada said, “Work now, samadhi later.” Kardama Muni did just the same and became a wonderful example for all of us to follow.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Krsna Katha 