Hare Krsna,
I want to share something about my life to give a better context of the tribulations faced by a living entity within the womb of the mother and outside in the material world.
I grew up in a beautiful mountainous town in Northeast India. It is a very small town nested in the mountains. Life was very peaceful and quiet. There was no pollution, noise, and crowd. The weather was cool. We had no experience of hot weather. The air was clean, the water from the springs sweet. Everything was within walking distance – the stores, the schools, post office, hospitals, temples, and churches, etc. We would walk to school in the morning, come back home during lunch break, and go back to school again. Life was not busy. We had ample time after school to play and enjoy. At night I would spend time looking up at the clear sky and counting the stars. We always had family dinner. The entire town would shut down after dark. People went home to their families after the day. There would hardly be anyone outside on the streets. People would go to bed by 8:30 or 9:00 PM. Life was just perfect and blissful. We had time for each other. However there was a lurking desire to ‘explore the world.’ I think that was the calling of maya.
Fast forward to 15-20 years. I had to move out of the town for college and later on for employment opportunities. My friends and I in college wanted to live in a big city like Mumbai or Delhi for our jobs. Krishna fulfilled our desire. I landed in Mumbai to work for a reputable IT firm. Life seemed to be good initially. Mumbai is the financial city of India – something like New York City of India. The city is completely opposite to where I grew up. Life is extremely fast paced. It is extremely populated, noisy, and polluted. But still life seemed to be good in the beginning. We found what we were missing growing up. We had ample opportunities for sense enjoyment. There are malls, movie theaters, bars, fancy restaurants, big architectural buildings, etc. Life seemed to be perfect.
Krsna says in BG 18.38: That happiness which is derived from contact of the senses with their objects and which appears like nectar at first but poison at the end is said to be of the nature of passion.
In line with Krsna’s teachings above, my initial nectarian experience slowly turned into poison. Being a small-town person, the big city environment took its toll on my mental peace. I was not able to adjust to the crowd, constant noise, pollution, and fast paced life. I dreaded going to work in the morning. The trains and buses were always extremely crowded. I couldn’t handle the heat. I didn’t enjoy the restaurant food anymore. I missed my family. I couldn’t deal with people’s duplicity and propensity to cheat. I didn’t know how to handle corporate politics. I didn’t know how to deal with intense competition at work. I just didn’t fit it. Then I desired to move out of Mumbai to a ‘better’ place.
Again, Krsna showed his mercy. He removed me from India and sent me to the USA. The quality of life is much better here. I thought I knew why people wanted to move to America and Europe – for a better life. This blissful experience continued for many years. But now I have started to see the realities of the material world. Even though I am in the most progressive country in the world, I was still not happy. Something was missing. Finally, Srila Prabhupada showed his mercy through his books. Life took a different turn from then on.
Why did I share this experience above? Just to show that the baby’s prayer in the womb for deliverance is similar to my current prayer to the Lord to give me relief from material distress and unhappiness. I am at a stage now where I can see that there is no perfect place in this world. Every place is a place of birth, death, old age and disease. It is not designed to be a happy place. Be in Mumbai, New York or Amsterdam, life is just distress. Every so-called happiness here has a hidden side-effect – misery and distress.
Whatever Srila Bhaktivinoda said in his prayers is so true and relevant to me. I gave up the happiness of my birth place (and home) to come to the bigger world of pain and sorrow. While growing up in the loving care of my parents, I passed my time smiling and laughing. My parents’ affection helped me to forget the pangs of birth, and I thought the world was very nice. Day by day I grew and soon began playing with other boys. Shortly my powers of understanding emerged. I read and studied my lessons incessantly. I travelled from place to place, city to city. I got a good education. People respected me for my education and material accomplishment. I started to earn money and support my family. I bought my first house and my first car. Materially I felt satisfied.
But now I feel miserable. I feel miserable because I forgot my eternal friend Krsna. Through the process of bhakti, I am trying to revive that lost relationship with Krsna. I am unable to handle this world of pain and sorrow. No matter wherever I go, the chains of three modes of nature do not leave me. Due to the misuse of my little independence, maya has bound me.
Now I am anxious to get out of the influence of material clutches. I want to be reinstated in my constitutional position as eternal servant of Krsna. I have served my bodily attachments for many lifetimes and their expectations never end. I cannot make them happy; neither do my service to them can make me happy. Like the child in the womb of the mother, I too, situated in the womb of the material world, pray to the Supreme Lord for deliverance. I beg for His mercy because without the Lord’s mercy, how can one again engage in the transcendental loving service of the Lord? Like the child, I also pray “O my Lord, when shall I, a wretched soul, be released from this confinement?” (SB 3.31.17)
“Therefore, without being agitated any more, I shall deliver myself from the darkness of nescience with the help of my friend, clear consciousness. Simply by keeping the lotus feet of Lord Viṣṇu in my mind, I shall be saved from entering into the wombs of many mothers for repeated birth and death.” (SB 3.31.21)
“I have a body in which I can control my senses and can understand my destination; therefore, I offer my respectful obeisances to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, by whom I have been blessed with this body and by whose grace I can see Him within and without.” (SB 3.31.19)
By the grace of the Supreme Lord and His bonafide representative like Srila Prabhupada, I know the process to engage in devotional service and become free from the clutches of maya. May I earnestly repent for my past sins and engage in loving service to the Lord. May I never take birth in the womb of another mother again to suffer in this world. May I take birth only to serve the Supreme Lord and His mission in this material world.
“Absorption of intelligence in the personal service of Kṛṣṇa and full consciousness of Kṛṣṇa always are the path of self-realization and liberation. Without being unnecessarily agitated, if we take to the process of Kṛṣṇa consciousness by constantly chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare, the cycle of birth and death can be stopped for good.
One can cultivate Kṛṣṇa consciousness anywhere and everywhere, provided he can always think of Kṛṣṇa. The mahā-mantra, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare, can be chanted even within the abdomen of one’s mother. One can chant while sleeping, while working, while imprisoned in the womb or while outside. This Kṛṣṇa consciousness cannot be checked in any circumstance. The conclusion of the child’s prayer is: “Let me remain in this condition; although it is very miserable, it is better not to fall a victim to māyā again by going outside.” (SB 3.31.21 Purport)
Similarly let me remain in whatever condition I am in. But let me not fall victim to maya again by trying to go outside of Krsna’s association and service.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Krsna Katha 