Hare Krsna,
My understanding so far from whatever we have studied on the attachment between males and females is that association with the opposite sex is not the issue. The issue is when we start thinking of them as objects of enjoyment and attachment. This is the beginning of material attachment. It is very difficult in this modern age not to be attracted to the opposite gender. Most of the advertisements and marketing objectifies women and men. The objectification of women in the media teaches girls that all they have to offer is their body and face, and they should expend all their effort on physical appearance. Look at any sports coverage and you will notice that the focus is more on capturing the visuals of women at specific angles or focusing on their skimpy outfits. Men are not exempt from objectification either. Images of shirtless men with chiseled six-pack is a form of objectification of men. All these things create unnecessary attachment between men and women – sometimes leading to disastrous results.
Our scriptures, therefore, come down heavily on this misplaced attachment between men and women. People who do not have sufficient understanding of Vedic teachings may wrongly come to the conclusion that the Vedas are against women empowerment and freedom. It is common to hear such criticism about India and Indian culture from the western world. The real teaching of the scripture is that the goal of life is attaining 100% Krsna consciousness. Any person who is engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and who desires to pass beyond material nescience must not associate himself with women and men or with persons interested in material enjoyment. For a person seeking advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, such association is more dangerous than suicide.
The verse (SB 3.31.35), “The infatuation and bondage which accrue to a man from attachment to any other object is not as complete as that resulting from attachment to a woman or to the fellowship of men who are fond of women” really caught my attention. This is so true. Our material miseries and bondage begin from this attachment between men and women. The desire to please and form a relationship to the opposite sex leads to one thing after another (marriage, home, child, job, etc.) thus ending up in real entanglement from which it is hard to free oneself.
Therefore, it is important to keep Krsna in the center of everything – even in our relationship with our spouse. The mind is so strong and obstinate that it naturally tends to seek pleasure from everything – including our spouses and partners. But if we are deep-rooted in Krsna consciousness by practice, knowledge, service, and renunciation, such attachment will not be able to trouble us. Krsna consciousness is the only protection from false attachments. In Chapter 25, we studied about the descriptions of the kingdom of God. There it is mentioned that “The inhabitants of Vaikuṇṭha travel in their airplanes made of lapis lazuli, emerald and gold. Although crowded by their consorts, who have large hips and beautiful smiling faces, they cannot be stimulated to passion by their mirth and beautiful charms.” (SB 3.15.20)
In his purport, Srila Prabhupada writes that “in the Vaikuṇṭha world the consorts of the residents are many, many times more beautiful than we can find in this material world, even in the higher planets. It is specifically mentioned here that a woman’s large hips are very attractive and they stimulate man’s passion, but the wonderful feature of Vaikuṇṭha is that although the women have large hips and beautiful faces and are decorated with ornaments of emeralds and jewels, the men are so absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness that the beautiful bodies of the women cannot attract them. In other words, there is enjoyment of the association of the opposite sex, but there is no sexual relationship. The residents of Vaikuṇṭha have a better standard of pleasure, so there is no need of sex pleasure.” (SB 3.15.20 P)
It is a question of dovetailing everything to Krsna consciousness. Our attachments for the opposite sex will be there as long as we are conditioned in this material body. But when we are able to dovetail everything to Krsna’s service, then no material attachment can affect us.
“Man and woman should live together as householders in relationship with Kṛṣṇa, only for the purpose of discharging duties in the service of Kṛṣṇa. Engage the children, engage the wife, and engage the husband, all in Kṛṣṇa conscious duties, and then all these bodily or material attachments will disappear. Since the medium is Kṛṣṇa, the consciousness is pure and there is no possibility of degradation at any time.” (SB 3.31.42 P)
Srila Prabhupada us how to transform our material attachment to spiritual attachment. He writes that “instead of being attracted by material beauty, if one is accustomed to being attracted by the beauty of Rādhārāṇī and Kṛṣṇa, then the statement of Bhagavad-gītā, paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate, holds true. When one is attracted by the transcendental beauty of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, he is no longer attracted by material feminine beauty. That is the special significance of Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa worship.” (SB 3.31.38 P). Therefore, we need to earnestly pray to Sri Sri Radha and Krsna that somehow or other may our attachment for Them grow day by day to the extent that we are no longer attracted to this material world and material bodies.
In conclusion, the solution to the illusory attachments between males and females lies in cultivation of proper Krsna consciousness. There is no other way.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Krsna Katha 